The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper/Transcript
lines, as the big-band music of "Jingle Bells" begins playing from the title card, exploding it up, typing it in, saying, "CHRISTMAS EVE 1800 HOURS", fading in, zooming in the snowman, popping his head with a pipe, looking around, looking at Mason and Phil stacking their cans, knocking it down, then Alex plugs his lights on Melman, then the music stops, zooming into a polar bear, then the music continues playing, with camels with candles, with elephants with trunks shape like a heart, then the music stops, zooming back into a polar bear, sighing *'Private': He looks so sad. *'Skipper': Rico! I want that tree up to muster. *''uses his knives to cut the ice cube to form into a tree'' *'Skipper': Check! Kowalski, what's the status on the approved musical selection? *'Kowalski': Scheduled to begin, now. *''music of "Jingle, Jingle, Jingle" plays'' *'Skipper': Excelente! Right on track. *'Private': Skipper! *'Skipper': Figgy pudding at 1900 hours. Yule log to commence on my mark. Engage! *'Kowalski': the TV on, with a fire crackling from a fireplace Yule log engaged. *'Skipper': Checkamundo! *'Private': Skipper! *'Skipper': Eggnog at 2100 hours. Writing our names in the snow at 2105. away *'Private': Skipper! *'Skipper': What is it, Private? *'Private': Ted the polar bear is all alone this holiday, and he seems so sad. Could we bring him a present to cheer him up? *'Skipper': Kowalski! *'Kowalski': an abacus Negative, Skipper. We have four presents, and there are four of us. *'Private': We can go and get him something. *'Skipper': Sorry, Private, no can do. *'Private': But no one should be sad and alone on Christmas. *'Skipper': Exactly, so throw those troubles away and be merry. Pronto! *'Private': But, Skipper. *'Skipper': That's an order, mister. All right, boys, stand by for eggnog. *'Kowalski': Aye, aye, Skipper. *'Rico': Eggnog! *'Skipper': Private? *'Private': I'll pass, thank you. *'Rico': Eggnog, eggnog! *''takes out a piggybank like a hippo, taking a quarter out, putting in his pocket'' *'All': Go, go, go, go! Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! *'Skipper': Well done, Rico! That guy can really hold is nog. *''goes inside, then cut to the clock, spinning hands, pointing at 9:10'' *'Skipper': 2110 hours, boys. Engage cranberries. Rico! Not at the table. Hold on a second. Something's missing. *'Kowalski': Cranberries, check. Eggnog, check. *'Skipper': Give me a head count. *'Kowalski': abacus We have three heads, sir. *'Skipper': Where's the private? *'Kowalski': Unknown, sir. It would appear that he's missing. *'Skipper': milk cartoon with a big "MISSING" advert for the private Missing? Hoover Dam! Wait. There he is. a bowling pin sleeping in a bed with a blanket He just went to bed. the blanket away from the bowling pin, then Rico shakes his head What the... the bowling pin with a face on it, slapping it up What have you done with Private? Talk, mister! *'Kowalski': Skipper! Over here. *'Skipper': bowling pin I'll deal with you later. his face on the bowling pin *'Kowalski': Oh, no! He must be out there all by himself. *'Skipper': He's one of us, men. You all know the penguin credo. *'Kowalski': "Never bathe in hot oil and Bisquick"? *'Skipper': No! *''speaks in Japanese gibberish'' *'Skipper': No! That's the walrus credo. It's "Never swim alone." Private's out there all by himself. And we never leave one of our own. *'Kowalski': Oh, yeah. *'Skipper': Now let's go! *''outside, with the people walking by with the feet, with Private looking out'' *'Private': down Oh! That's perfect! Just the thing for a sad polar bear. up, looking at the Christmas trees *''penguins look around, getting out of the sewer, kicking the lid off'' *'Skipper': Kowalski? *''lid lands on the ground'' *'Skipper': Analysis. *'Kowalski': Adrenalin sweating sardines. These tracks are fresh, sir. *'Skipper': He's close. I can feel it. *''all look, taking a binoculars out'' *'Old Lady': What kind of cut-rate junk is this? It's lousy workmanship is what it is. *'Kowalski': at Old Lady We may have a problem. *'Old Lady': the plush toy Junk! These are no good at all! Junk! *'Skipper': We need to get closer. 10:00, men. Blend, blend, blend! *''all walk in line, then they look at Old Lady'' *'Old Lady': Ha! So, this is where you're hiding all the good stuff! *'Skipper': He's in trouble! *'Rico': the dynamite out Kaboom. *'Skipper': Stand down, soldier. We're in observation mode. *'Old Lady': Now, this is workmanship. So, where's the goshdarn squeaker on this thing? It's got to have a squeaker. Private, farting Now, that's more like it. Hey, stupid! I want this one. *'Skipper': Grand Coulee dam! *'Old Lady': Where's my change?! *'Skipper': Private's been captured! *'Old Lady': Taxi! *''taxi stops'' *'Skipper': Not on my watch, blue hair. Kowalski! *''puts the trash can lid down, grappling on a taxi car, driving down, sliding on a road, like wakeboarding'' *'Man': Hey, I'm walking here! *''penguins continue wakeboarding, flying up, spinning around, sliding down on a snow, looking at Old Lady'' *'Old Lady': I got a tip for you. Drop dead! the taxi door, driving away *'Doorman': Good evening, ma'am. Merry Christmas to you. *'Old Lady': Buzz off! Doorman, walking in *'Kowalski': Skipper, how are we gonna get inside? *'Rico': the dynamite Kaboom, kaboom. *'Skipper': I got a better idea. the fire off the dynamite *'Doorman': Oh, that's gonna hurt. *''snowman walks to Doorman, holding a dollar'' *'Doorman': a dollar Very generous, sir. You have a merry Christmas. *'Skipper': Hold that elevator! *'Private': Skipper! *'Skipper': Private! Step on it, Kowalski. *''Lady presses a 13 button from the elevator, walking down to Old Lady in the elevator, crashing into the doors, then they all look at the arrow pointing to 13, then they look at the mail'' *'Skipper': What comes down must go up. *'Kowalski': Skipper. *''looks at a vacuum cleaner'' *'Skipper': All right, men, commence Operation Special Delivery. *''plugs the vacuum cleaner in, then Rico turns the vacuum cleaner on, then they put their stamps on, throwing Skipper and Private in the vacuum cleaner, then Rico jumps in the vacuum cleaner, then they all go up, with Old Lady walking in, hopping from wall to wall, then they walk to a door closing with Old Lady going in, locking the door'' *'Skipper': Shiitake mushrooms! No more Mr. Cute-and-Cuddly. *'Rico': the match Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom! *'Skipper': Rico, enough with the dynamite already. *'Old Lady': Private Why does Christmas have to be every year? What a pain in the... the thread The tape, it's so sticky. a stamp on Private, saying, "TO: MR. CHEW FROM: MOMMY" There we go! Oh, you'll make such a nice Christmas present for my Mr. Chew. Private Oh, now, Mr. Chew, you have to wait until morning to open your present. Yes, you do. Who is mommy's big boy? Who is he? *''Chew growls at Private in a Christmas sock, shaking the Alex stuffed toy, tearing the head out, zooming in the head, then the dog starts eating Private's Christmas sock while Private's in it'' *'Private': whimpering Nice doggy! Good doggy! whimpering No, good boy. Down, down. Don't eat me. No. No, good boy. No. *''Chew comes closer to Private, starting to panic'' *'Private': Leave me alone. Don't eat me! screaming *''Kowalski, and Rico break in through a window, landing safely on the table'' *'Skipper': Santa Claus has come to town. *'Private': Oh, Skipper! *''Chew lets go of the Christmas sock, flying Private up in slow motion, landing on a Christmas star'' *'Private': Help me, guys! *'Skipper': Kowalski, secure the private. *'Kowalski': I'm on it. *''Chew barks at Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico'' *'Skipper': Watch your back. Canine, 2:00. *'Kowalski': I'm gonna need some cover fire. *'Skipper': Rico! *''jumps on a bowl glass, putting candies in his mouth, then they put the table down, breaking the bowl, then Skipper grabs Rico from a gun, cocking it, shooting candies at Mr. Chew'' *'Skipper': Kowalski, status? *'Kowalski': I'm almost there, Skipper. *''continues shooting candies at Mr. Chew from the gun, cocking it, then Mr. Chew charges at Skipper and Rico, throwing it up on a Christmas tree, grabbing the lights, knocking the table'' *'Skipper': Let him have it, Rico. an ornament on the rug, breaking it *''all throw ornaments on the ground, breaking everywhere, throwing at Mr. Chew, catapulting Private, taking his thread and bow off'' *'TV Announcer': Ryan takes the snap. He drops back into the pocket. *''flies in a window, knocking the food down'' *'TV Announcer': Oh! What a hit! Ryan is down! *''all look at Private wearing a chicken'' *'Skipper': Holy butterball! *'TV Announcer': There's a loose ball on the field! *''Chew charges at Private'' *'Private': No! Don't eat me! *'Skipper': Kowalski, give me options. *''continues running around'' *'Kowalski': it down Skipper. *'Skipper': Excelente! Engage Operation Stocking Stuffer. on a zipline, whistling, then Mr. Chew charges at Skipper, flying in slow motion, licking the candy cane, putting the candy cane on Mr. Chew, then they use the thread at Mr. Chew, throwing Mr. Chew on a Christmas star, catapulting Mr. Chew into a picture fame, dropping in a Christmas sock *'TV Announcer': At the 5. Gets into the end zone all by himself! Ryan drops back and fires a hail Mary downfield. Oh, he scores, Rigby! Oh, what a play! *'Skipper': High five. Low five. Down low. Too slow! I think our work here is done. *''all walk to the door'' *'Skipper': Rico! Rico holds an anvil above the elderly lady's head She didn't see anything. *''drops the anvil down on the floor'' *'TV Announcer': And that's the game, ladies and gentlemen. *'Skipper': Let's blow this popsicle stand, boys. *'Rico': a dynamite out with a match Kaboom? *'Skipper': Yes, Rico. Kaboom. *''dynamite explodes the wall, letting the door fall down'' *'Skipper': Come on, boys. *'Old Lady': Ah! What is all this?! Mr. Chew, this is all your fault! Bad dog! You are on a big time-out! *''outside'' *'Private': Thanks for rescuing me, Skipper. *'Skipper': Think nothing of it, young Private. It's the least we could do. You remember the penguin credo. *'Private': What does deep-frying in Bisquick have to do with any of this? *'Skipper': Not that one, the other one! "Never swim alone"! Alone! On Christmas! Don't you get it? Come on, people, do I have to explain this to everybody? *'Private': Poor Ted. He's all alone on Christmas, with no one to swim with. *'Skipper': It's not too late, young Private. I've got a new plan to fit him in. *''zooms in a snowman'' *'All': singing Fa la la la la, la la la la! *'Ted': You guys! Seriously, this is the best Christmas I've ever had. *'Skipper': Well, there it is, then, merry Christmas for everyone. *''all hear a door bell ringing'' *'Skipper': What the... Who could that be? *'Ted': Oh, I hope you don't mind. I invited a few friends over. *'Skipper': What?! *''lines'' *'All': ♪Jingle bells, monkey smells, Melman laid an egg! Marty thinks that Alex stinks, and the camels say, "Oy vey!"♪ Category:Transcripts